Coresect

Technology is a Sacrifice
 
Here follows all items in this section, in chronological order.

Power-Napping

By admin (when...  26/05/2011 @ 12:34:44, Where Funny, linked 2239 times)


You have to shitting me,
right..?





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Yup - 5 May 2010

By admin (when...  05/05/2010 @ 11:35:35, Where Funny, linked 1059 times)


Yup
 

Ho ho ho

By admin (when...  26/12/2009 @ 19:01:50, Where Funny, linked 1022 times)
 

Lego Matrix

By admin (when...  25/11/2009 @ 23:27:01, Where Funny, linked 1021 times)
 

Drinkies..?

By admin (when...  27/09/2009 @ 09:28:35, Where Funny, linked 982 times)


Ah yes, something tasty to whip out down at the park Sunday morning whilst jogging, a freaky "pick me up" if you like. Wonder what it tastes like with vodka...





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Yeah, That's Beer

By admin (when...  21/09/2009 @ 16:25:48, Where Funny, linked 987 times)
 

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife...

By admin (when...  12/09/2009 @ 12:06:44, Where Funny, linked 1746 times)
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button
Nothing!
I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul)while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.
But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best .. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD .. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE ...!!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.s... My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

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The Rabbit

By admin (when...  18/08/2009 @ 20:38:21, Where Funny, linked 1345 times)
A butcher was opening his market one morning and as he did a rabbit popped his head through the door. The butcher was surprised when the rabbit inquired ‘Got any cabbage?’ The butcher said ‘This is a meat market – we sell meat, not vegetables.’ The rabbit hopped off. The next day the butcher is opening the shop and sure enough the rabbit pops his head round and says ‘You got any cabbage?’ The butcher now irritated says ‘Listen you little rodent I told you yesterday we sell meat, we do not sell vegetables and the next time you come here I am going to grab you by the throat and nail those floppy ears to the floor.’ The rabbit disappeared hastily and nothing happened for a week. Then one morning the rabbit popped his head around the corner and said ‘Got any nails?’ The butcher said ‘No.’ The rabbit said ‘Ok. Got any cabbage?
 

We Know Why You Bought It

By admin (when...  05/08/2009 @ 17:39:02, Where Funny, linked 1084 times)

You Know it's true. Click on the image for the full glory version.
 

Ukraine band Los Colorados

By admin (when...  02/08/2009 @ 17:24:12, Where Funny, linked 1111 times)
Check out this funny video after the link I'm not usually a fan of covers, unless of course they end up like this one of Kate Perry.
 

Rollins Loves Techno

By admin (when...  12/07/2009 @ 17:03:16, Where Funny, linked 1100 times)


So, first you get Henry Rollins giving a little speech on how shit techno music is, and then some genius gives it a techno remix, AND adds the Techno Viking. Awesome got bigger.
 

The Techno Viking

By admin (when...  12/07/2009 @ 16:57:41, Where Funny, linked 1258 times)
Blast from the past here, with a film from 2000. It starts innocently enough, with a blue-wigged girl dancing at a techno parade. Suddenly someone looking a tad drunk barges in and grabs the girl, only to come face to face with what can only be described as the Techno Viking. The skirmish is brief, and then the awesome that is the Techno Viking dances away.
Watch, enjoy, and then go get the merchandise.
 

Doodling As Art - Joe List

By admin (when...  12/07/2009 @ 16:20:01, Where Funny, linked 1262 times)

Nice Blog by a guy who spends rather a lot of time doodling on pages of the weekend supplement. Funny, and striking, I'm almost inspired to do the same. I suspect I lack the talent.
Source.
Check out joelist.co.uk too
 

Louis C.K. - Awesome Possum

By admin (when...  09/07/2009 @ 16:09:52, Where Funny, linked 3301 times)


This man goes on a tangent worse than I do. Hysterically funny, and contains strong languge. No really, no shit.
 

A Rose by any other name...

By admin (when...  26/06/2009 @ 15:55:31, Where Funny, linked 1146 times)
So Facebook recently allowed people to choose their own url name, and even if I only go to Facebook once a month at max, I went and got www.facebook.com/paul.toohill

I don't know why, I think mainly just so nobody else would. So, it looks like some girl had a little trick played on her, and by the powers of thar interwebz she became www.facebook.com/iloveanal

Seeing how usernames are not changeable, and the person in question flatly refused to believe the fact, she might just be stuck with that one for a while.

Little things make me smile.
 
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