And just how far down this spiral have you fallen?

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A man buys a goat from a farmer. The farmer goes to his farm to get it, but when he comes back he says that the goat died while he was out. The man asks for his money back, but the farmer says that he's really sorry, but he spent it in town. The man says "alright, give me the goat anyway, I'll raffle it off." The farmer responds, " You can't raffle of a dead goat!" "Sure I can, I just won't tell anyone that it's dead."

 

So the farmer gives the man the goat, and doesn't see him again until a week later. The farmer asks, "How'd the raffle go?" "Great, I sold 100 tickets for $10 bucks each. I made $990". The farmer is incredulous. "Didn't anybody complain about the dead goat?" "Only the guy that won, so I gave him his money back."